Many of you are probably familiar with the idea of the Sh*t Sandwich. If not, let me fill you in:
The Sh*t Sandwich represents all of the negative consequences of any decision you will ever make in your life. You can’t avoid eating this sandwich, and no decision, I repeat NO decision, comes without one. Let me give you some examples:
Decision: You take a dream vacation to the beautiful country of Costa Rica (seriously, do it).
SS: You have to save and pay for the trip, you get sand in your private parts, you rent a car and spend hours being lost in the city, you get woken up early by howler monkeys, and you come home with food poisoning.
Decision: You marry the person of your dreams. ❤️
SS: You are now condemned to sex with the same person for the rest of your life (generally), you fight over the sheets every night, they sing in the mornings (who does that?!?), they ask you “what?” even if they heard you, and they don’t like Indian food even though you crave it twice a week.
Decision: You have chosen to be a musician, doctor, lawyer, therapist, fill-in-your-dream-job-here.
SS: It takes years of schooling and studying, you sacrifice time with friends and looking for a partner, you are broke for a good decade of your life, you put in hours and hours and hours of grueling hard work.
Are you starting to see my point? Even the most amazing and positive life experiences come with their own downside.
So how do you make those big decisions? How do you choose to bring pain, conflict, and heartbreak onto yourself?
By choosing your own unique flavor of Sh*t Sandwich. Yes, that’s right. You make choices not based on what makes you the happiest, but by what problems you accept and are willing to deal with.
Choosing your problems is the first step, and accepting them is the second. It is fine to be frustrated, for example, when your toddler spills your expensive makeup all over your carpet. But you can’t live your life so frustrated by your child, because in the end all of their issues are just the sh*t sandwich you need to eat in order to get those sweet snuggles and baby love. You can’t constantly complain about the long work hours if you are hoping to be CEO. You shouldn’t complain about your spouses flaws if you don’t want to live without them.
I once heard a saying in regards to marriage that went something like this: “Don’t go looking for the 20% that you are missing, when you have someone that is 80%”. I have been able to apply that to almost every aspect of my life, and I hope you can too. No decision, no person, no life is perfectly happy and without problems, so choose your particular flavor of Sh*t Sandwich and accept your choices for what they are.